Lately I've been feeling dead in the water, so much hope,so much fire and nothing to really do with it. Sitting in front of my computer for hours and hours working trying to capture an elusive goal that is always just beyond the horizon. I've still not found work, my bank account is dwindling very fast because publicists are not cheap.  There really is no logical equation in which i am able to make a living off of music and although I know this, for some reason I still have hope. Human beings are strange creatures, even when we logically know something is impossible still we continue to strive for it. It's truly a beautiful yet punishing quality. While in my apartment during a coffee induced thought journey, I had an idea. I have plan a showcase, it seems to be my only logical option. I have a good publicist that can get coverage on the show I just have to give him something to talk about. I have a new music video, a new EP, plenty of content, now I just need an event to bring these things to light.

I can't believe how defeated I've been lately, it's very unlike me. It's hard though when you work on a project for a year then the blogs you submit it to shit on you then go post the new weekend song again. I've forgotten the golden rule, you should always make art for yourself and if other people dig it cool but if not at least you are still happy with it. Anyways, it's nice to have some sort of a plan that I can focus all my craziness towards. Firstly I have to build the band, I am having my first full band practice this week, so that is thankfully moving in the right direction. Then I have to find a vessel for this shot in the dark showcase, I'm thinking somewhere small so it's an easy room to fill. Then lastly my most hated part of being a musician and the hardest part of being a musician which is of course promotion. Turn yourself into a brand, market yourself into something other people want to be a part of, it's a strange thing to try to do.  Online promotion has just been an impossible trek for me, I'd much rather just go out and play a show and actually interact with people.

​The main thing here is no matter how hopeless or illogical your goal may be, it is in the human nature to not give up.When I first had these thoughts I felt as if I was ignoring reality but after some pondering I realized I repudiate it. My reality is forged by my hands not those of fate. Hope is our greatest strength, logic is annoying by product of consciousness and I will not let it destroy my dreams or dictate my happiness. Fight logic, ignore the darkness, push on through the hopelessness, when all is lost yearn for more and let the echoes of Dylan Thomas fill your soul, rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I would first like to apologize for not writing for awhile, I've been laying low trying to figure things out. It's time to start releasing my new material, I submitted my first single "Disappear" to some blogs and they weren't feeling it.That isn't exactly a surprise and I knew it was a long shot. Of course it's never fun to hear someone tell you they don't like your music especially someone who could really help you but you have to stand by your work no matter what. It's been almost exactly a year since I've gotten to LA, it's been the hardest year of my life and seems to continue getting harder everyday. It's almost every other day I want to run away from this place and the impossible life of a musician but it's just not an option for me. If i leave and accept an easier life my mind would eat me alive. So where does that leave me? I just have to find a way to keep getting better, it's really my only option.Finding musicians in LA has become a very daunting task and I just can't seem to get excitement around my project. So the question is what do you do when blogs and record labels don't want to help you? You have to reach the people directly and figure out a way to promote your own music. This is no simple task, it's going to take lots of money and time and even then could yield no results. Years of trial and error but if you believe in yourself then it's the only thing you can do. Nonetheless I believe in Disappear, it's weird and imperfect but i do feel it's an interesting sound to explore. I'll be blogging more regularly, i apologize for the lameness of this first post but  I need to get back in the swing of writing and continue making new music. I'll be releasing Disappear this Friday, wish me luck.

My two most hated words in all of the English language when used in conjunction. To me that says " I don't want any part of your life or to help you in your endeavor whatsoever but good luck!" It's a total cop out disguised as a nice thing to say. Every time someone says it to me it puts a bad taste in my mouth and I instantly like that person much much less. The waiting game sucks, right now I'm waiting on the album to be mixed and the music video to be edited. I'm thinking too much and my train of thought has become rather negative, even meditating has become difficult this month. I've become too money minded recently, too caught up in the machine and it's depressing me. I've still been decently productive on the creative end which always makes me happy. Recording myself here at my place excites me, to be able to have everything exactly the way I want it with no pressure, not to mention the money I'm saving.

I've been working too much and it's been making me feel so empty but to remedy that I've been donating to the Free Tibet foundation. Donating to such a righteous cause makes me feel like I'm helping make a change instead saying"welp good luck guys!".At what point can we change luck? Instead of saying good luck maybe spread the word about a cause or actually do something to help whoever you are wishing good luck to. I hate the feeling that We are powerless pawns of luck, feathers in the wind hoping for the best. Maybe I'm naive but to me it's an ideal worth believing and fighting tooth and nail for.

I refuse to believe that and I refuse to let the future of things that I care about be determined by luck. I want no part of fair-weather spectators who throw two meaningless words at you to pretend they care. To those of you reading this think long and hard before you use these words and instead think of how you can help change luck. On a lighter note next month starts the promotion of Beyond the Plains i'll be giving updates as they are available as well as plans for my EP release show!

(First let me start by saying my best wishes go out to those affected by the fires and i do not mean to detract from the serious damages done by it.)In the midst of forest fires and a blood red sun, I managed to conduct a music video shoot. The smoke billowed into the air and gave the sky the most interesting reddish orange hue. We climbed up a staircase to give us a great vantage point and while up there it really gave me a chance to take in the city. I've been so focused and keeping my head down and working that I haven't gotten a chance to just look around much lately I definitely needed that. I'm really excited to see the footage all edited together. Later that night I went home and two blocks down caution tape was blocking off a street and a man was lying motionless. Helicopters circled for hours and hours, spotlights pierced through windows. I'm still not sure of the full story but my first thought was man I have to get out of this neighborhood.
Then later as I was doing my prison workout( because I don't walk to the gym at night for safety reasons) and I thought to myself maybe this is exactly where I need to be. It's hard, it hurts and it's lonely but I'm really improving my all aspects. Vocals are all recorded for my new songs and I've been pulling all nighters editing them, I'm excited and overwhelmed.
I'm starting to get that hopeful feeling I get when releasing a new project. Although in reality it will probably fade into the void, it's so exciting because there's no limit to its potential. Who knows maybe it will change everything for me. I need to get better about social media and stuff but I would much rather just write here instead of posting selfies and stupid shit like that. Unfortunately as a musician your social media numbers are your blood line and mine are terrible. Also I'm going to be blogging again hard and I do appreciate all of you who read this and help it spread. I'm so excited to start playing live again and I have been planning shows and possibly a tour again, the "Beyond the Plains" campaign starts now!

,Yet another atrocity against humanity. Firstly, I would like to pay my respects to the victims of the Orlando shootings and my thoughts are with everyone who has been affected. Which I know isn't much but in times like these it helps to vocalize that feeling and let the victims families and loved ones know that we all are with them. Let me begin by saying that there is absolutely no practical reason I can think of for a civilian to own an assault weapon. I understand people want to keep their rights intact and protect themselves but to me there has to be a reasonable compromise where we look past ourselves and compromise for the safety of people as a whole. Simple compromises that can help save lives such as more in depth background checks, regulation of magazine size, limits on amount of ammunition that can be bought, etc. The gunman appeared on the terror watch list at one point in time, the fact that he was allowed to buy the guns in the first place baffles me. Florida's gun laws are a joke, but they are still more restrictive than some other states. We have to find a way to regulate firearms and instead of this topic dividing us we have to remember we are united together against hatred. The difference between altruism and hatred is simply  a state of mind. When I think of isis ( which I refuse to capitalize) this is truly a mental battle against men who have allowed hatred to blind them from the truth. They hide behind religion but these men are the furthest thing from being Muslims. The members have been brainwashed by their leaders into thinking that taking the life of another human is truly what god would want. All religion has the same aim, to love your fellow humans regardless of who they are and devote your life for the good of others.

I live by a Buddhist philosophy but I am a student of all religions. Whether it be the discipline, the poetry in their doctrine or their contributions to humanity, all religions have merit and when practiced correctly I believe they can help build a peaceful planet. How do we reach an enemy in which bullets and bombs cannot find? To me it lies in reaching their minds changing how they view things. Just as isis tricks people to commit acts of terror by propaganda on the internet, we can do the inverse and inspire them to view us all as one human community. By vocalizing our pain, we can show them how these acts truly effect us. I know that I'm being a bit too naïve with this situation but just think if someone planning a terrorist plot stumbled upon this post and changed their outlook, I could save lives. Expose the truth behind the lies they have been told and cultivate love where there would be hate. To me this can be done by all of us coming out of the woodwork and speaking to these dangerous and misguided minds via the internet. Whether it be twitter or websites or whatever means isis may use this seems to be our only way of truly reaching them. Many who are committing these acts are young and impressionable minds who want to be part of a cause that they don't understand but this also means they can still be swayed to see the truth. To me I look back at Martin Luther King who got so much accomplished with the civil rights movement by using his words and instead of physically going after those who wished harm against him, he aimed to instead give them a view into what it was like to be oppressed to change their way of thinking. Although the life of MLK was one day taken, his voice brought more change than any bomb or bullet ever could. His death made his words even more true and once again showed how destructive a hateful mind can be.  The mind controls the body, so the minds of isis members is where the battle is fought. There must be someway to reach these minds and actually show them the repercussions of what they are doing and snap the brainwashing.  I also believe there needs to be a positive central leader within the Islamic community who can stand unafraid of isis and show them what it truly means to be Muslim. Who could also draw the line and show the world that the members of isis are NOT Muslims because there are still people who don't understand this.

Many have told me these people are too far gone and have lost their humanity. I believe all humans deep down are good and want a peaceful happy planet but the mind is also a dangerous tool when misguided. Maybe I'm wrong and it could be an exercise in futility but I cannot just sit back and watch these things on the news. The internet has given all of us a voice and collectively that voice is a powerful one. So everyone reading this take to social media be heard and together we can cure the mental disease of hatred or at least do our part to try to help. We must give an insight to those who wish harm against us, show them we are just like them regardless of location, religion or skin color. I will not give into my anger and hatred for that is exactly what isis is baiting us into. I see so much hate speech against Muslims and middle eastern people as a whole which once again is exactly what they want. They want hatred, chaos and our minds to be as poisoned and misguided as their own. The battle against hatred, bigotry and terrorism is fought in hearts and in minds. Going forward we must set the example as tolerant, peaceful, strong minded people and set the tone for the future. No matter what is done to us we will not stoop to the level of hatred and violence. One of the greatest strengths of humanity is communication, especially in the modern world. Silence will be our undoing, you matter, your voice matters, use it to help paint a positive future.

you're not my idol  you're my rival
I will not be your diciple
scorched earth to quench my thirst
nothin left on my arrival
I need skeptics
I need a spark I need a flint for the pyrotechnics
hate me, destroy me,forget me, ignore me
Yet still I remain I will be molded by pain
ricochet death for another day
ddon’t let the words all get away
You are bound in ways that I am now free
if I lived just to appease
Choke the life right out of me
you've never had a dream and you've never had a cause
you can sleep at night in the comfort of my flaws
you are not on my side although you like to paint a ruse
but since im not like you you cant  endorse the things I gotta do


I live for purpose, not pleasure
fitted in my cap is the feather
of my dedication and sacrifice unto this never ending endeavor
and I just I love that you hate it
my sentiments will be painted
on the walls you built to block my view
to outline how I'm not like
and though my dollar bills are few
money never did much for you
and it will not protect
you from the ghost of neglect
so Whisper my name
as you slander and mame
the only thing that matters to me
my existence is your bane
but to the few who stoke the
flame  you rebirth the Phoenix
and run through my life blood
your love is intravenous
from the ashes of failure
prop me up again
I fight for you sake
it's our dreams I will defend



Just as the frost 
Rips the color from the earth
 life will lie dormant waiting on immanent rebirth
with this cycle ill run parallel
but i will burrow underground
and find the hidden roots
and grow inside  the vessel of a sound
Though it may be cliche 
The message will be replayed
I will not succumb
Until they hide my body from the sun
my words are a reflex, reaction
a culmination of pent up passion
I display in rhythmic fashion
 until my will is established
I will focus my anger
I will focus vengeance
i find the incentives
stay alive and relentless
you who oppose me
and never took the time to know me
will feel reverberations
as you feed me inspiration