This was a pivotal week for me, we got the press release out, I've been sleeping on a couch instead of my car, I got hired at two jobs, my bike was stolen slowly in several pieces to make it that much more painful, and my car is once again immobile due to reasons unknown. So in short my comfort level has gone up immensely while my mobility has plummeted drastically, thankfully this didn't happen any sooner. Morale has been at an all time low, with every passing day I am more and more feeling the weight of the goals I"m trying to accomplish. The more i meet people in LA who actually make careers from music, the more i realize that I may not be able to ever actually join this group. I see people with whole teams who are excited about their project and believe in them, then there's me with my weird little 5 song EP with only me at the helm relentlessly emailing and hustling trying to get momentum going behind this project. I can't help but feel out numbered but it's like I mentioned previously I have to remember that its still worth doing even if it isn't widely celebrated.
I was at work yesterday and some how the topic of religion came up with a bunch of people whose names I barely know, usually in this situation I'd stay quiet, one because of the subject matter and two because I wouldn't want to offend people that I'm forced to come in contact with on a daily basis. I was participating in the conversation until I got lost i my own head thinking about blind faith. I had always given religion a hard time because I feel blind faith is dangerous, but yet aren't I doing the same thing? Following something not because it logically makes much sense but just operating off of a feeling which to me is almost the basis of being human. I'm not a religious man but I see parallels when it comes to blind faith. I do still think that blind faith is dangerous but there is certainly a profound beauty in it. obviously my faith is a much more narcissistic one as it pertains only to myself and my skills but nonetheless I feel i can confer with the feeling. I will admit there is a certain hint of in insanity to jump without being able to see where your feet will land but the confidence alone in that instance is merit worthy to me. It feels good to have a date set for the EP (February 19th), I feel like things are going to be different this time (I hope).
This will be a tough month to reach my goals for the EP and I've set some quite impossible ones.Sometimes my hubris can get me in trouble and lead me to disappointment I will admit, but I like to keep the bar set extremely high. Thinking logically all the time makes life so not fun, I want to just follow what I feel. If i look at life objectively it bums me out but when i operate off of what I feel and what I can imagine of the future, It leaves my mind to paint the world whatever hue I desire.Now some would say this is running from reality, which could be true,but to me though it's not running from reality it's changing your perspective on it. I think that's a reason we sometimes envy children and miss our childhoods because their imagination is for the most part left unfiltered and unaltered but why do we have to lose that just because we become adults? Logic of course has it's place but so does your imagination, we shouldn't ever forget that. It's important to always keep positivity up and I need to remember that.Things will get better I do believe that. I'll be elaborating on my goals for the EP more in depth as we get closer to release, for now I have to keep spreading the word and get this press release picked up! Also artwork should be coming soon!