It's not something you can control, it's something you get to be a part of  for short bursts of time. At times it can be like a faucet, something endless that can be turned on and off.Sometimes It's like trying to hug a cloud, just as soon as you embrace it, it dissipates. So many factors affect it , I've tried my whole life to find ways to bring it out of myself and now I need it more than ever. It can't be faked or imitated, nor can it be forced. It's something you know lives inside of you but you never really know where. It seems sometimes though, the more you look for it the further away from it you get, which seems to be my current situation. I'm so close to finishing my first full length solo album but this last track is so important I can feel the weight of it. Even if I release it and no one cares about it, it matters the world to me. Inspiration is like a drug, I spend most of my time waiting for it or trying to coax it out of hiding.Life is so dull and uninteresting without it. It unlocks that part of our minds that is beaten out of us daily by the monotonous elements of everyday life. I used to think that inspiration was the bridge to music but after all these years I've learned its actually the opposite. Music is the vessel that brings me to inspiration and unlocks that potential inside of me. Inspiration is the goal, that's what all of this is about. The beautiful thing is though, it's literally hidden everywhere and in everything, one of the songs on my album got started because of the hum of my refrigerator. Inspiration can be applied to anything as well, it doesn't have to just be an artistic endeavor. Our methods of finding inspiration are different between each and every single one of us, so what works for me may not for you or vice versa. I want to share with you some of my methods of tapping into the elusive power of inspiration.

For me reading has always always inspired me more than anything(George Orwell in particular).To me that's the  purpose of the writer, to share with their reader their stream of inspiration and let them feel it. Anytime I'm feeling uninspired or unmotivated reading is my go to.Sometimes even a combination of reading while listening to music can help me materialize what it is I want to say or do. There are times too when simple logic can help inspire me, by asking the simplest question of all, Why am i writing this? What am i trying to accomplish or say with what I'm writing, purpose is a powerful spark. Take this blog post for example, the purpose of this is to talk about inspiration and even as I write this I feel closer to understanding my own inspirations. Another huge one for me is nature, something about looking upon it and feeling how small you are in all of it can be beautiful. I've started doing something I call "writing retreats" where I escape from the city and go be in nature with a notebook, I always feel better afterwards. Our minds are limitless, we can always learn and grow so progress is another major driving force for me. Finally, I want to talk about the most interesting catalyst of all for me which is thoughtlessness. Nothingness, emptiness, complete bliss that can only be obtained by clearing out your mind. Now this is something I've been practicing since I was a kid and have only scratched the surface of. How do you think of nothing? Even when you are thinking of nothing you are still thinking about trying not to think of anything which seems like a paradox. It can be obtained though through lots and lots of practice.One of the ways I can achieve this is I sit in a quiet room with a candle and I'll have a fan or little running water fountain on and focus on that sound. While I'm focused on that sound I'm not really thinking of anything, time passes without my knowing and for a brief period I'm no where else but inside of that moment. That clarity always helps me focus on the things I actually want to concentrate on instead of all the pointless things that cloud my mind.

Just because we can't harness inspiration doesn't mean we should't go looking for it. We of course won't always find it and it won't always be there, if we make a conscious effort to open your mind up to it, I think it will find us much more often. I'm on the final song of my album and while inspiration has been fleeting recently, I stay positive and patient while I search for it somewhere inside of me. It feels good to be blogging again, this has always been a very therapeutic outlet for me. This is in itself an exercise in the hunt for inspiration. Just hearing your thoughts out loud or seeing them in writing can help it all make sense. It's not easy and I've had to crawl through lots of days of just not feeling it to coax out the inspiration to write this album. I'm so close to finishing I can almost taste it. Finishing this album will only fuel me to want to write more and find new ways to evoke the euphoric touch of the fickle mistress that is inspiration.

First let me apologize for the long hiatus but I'm in the middle of writing an album so give me a break. Man I needed a vacation so badly.. I recently traveled to Taiwan which was extremely eye opening and made me only want to continue traveling but I must be in LA for I have a debt to pay to my music and blah blah blah. Now, falling asleep on airplanes for me is like trying to catch a shadow with a flashlight, it's quite impossible. I slip on my headphones and  close my eyes. Then, as me and Doris Day danced on the wings of the plane,I look over at the sky exuding this incredible purple/blue indigo color and it really just made me feel free. It was the color I would imagine heaven to be.  Traveling can make you feel so free, for after all exploring is in our blood as humans. I realized, until this moment I had been dreading the flight and just constantly worrying about everything going on back in LA. Excuse the gigantic metaphor but my life was just like this flight, just trying to get through it until I get to something better. For once I just wanted to enjoy this flight and be there in that moment, not just block it out and try to get through it.

Taipei was a modern amazing little city full of some of the kindest people I've ever met in my life. For the love of god some dude tapped me on the shoulder and warned me that my shoe was untied. Are you kidding me? I almost hugged that bro. The Metro in Taipei was the cleanest most efficient thing of beauty I've ever seen. Now if you've ever taken public transportation in NY or LA then you know how terrible it can be. There was no one screaming about killing all of us,no one trying to sell you things and above all it was.......clean. Everyone was so respectful and actually honored the rule of no food or drinks while riding the trains(which is why it was clean).I don't mean to rant about public transportation but it's part of my everyday life and anyone without a car feels me. Some of the things I saw just blew my mind. People just leave there helmets on their scooters and bikes unlocked wherever they like and no one steals them. I got my bike tire stolen in ten minutes while getting coffee in Koreatown. There is just this amazing respect everyone has for each other  and their belongings. I would walk by temples or shrines that had offerings that laid undisturbed. One of my good friends lost his wallet in Taipei and it was returned to him a year later, shipped to America with all of his belongings. Anyways, I digress, Taiwanese people are nice as fuck, you get it. Somewhere along the way America has lost this sense of kindness towards each other and it took me traveling abroad to really realize how bad it's gotten. Now on the other hand ,I'm not making excuses for America but we are a melting pot and we have many many different kinds of cultures from all over the world so realitsically cohesiveness can be a bit harder. Honestly though I couldn't really pinpoint a reason why things are so different in America. Another thing I noticed was I saw literally maybe only 9 homeless people in a two week span. Coming from downtown LA thats mind-blowing  but the homelessness situation in LA is a whole other ball of yarn that we will pull on another time.

Now on a lighter note lets quickly talk food. What the fuck, the food in Taipei was all so delicious and cheap. Now I'm not the most adventurous eater I'll be honest, so i stuck to a couple things I really liked. A pretty much daily must have was something called a "Bomb Egg" which could be completely wrong but that's what I was told so we'll run with that. A super simple delicious piece of heaven that consisted of a fried egg , a fried wonton type shell, some mysterious black slightly sweet sauce and "spicy" red stuff. now you could have the yok runny or hard ( figuring this one out was an uphill battle), which I fully suggest getting it runny. The best part about these is they cost 30 NT which is roughly a Dollar US.Aside from the 10 million delicious potstickers I had, I also got to go to Din Thai Fung which lives up to all the hype you've heard. Xiao Long Bao is great across the board but they have really perfected it. One can only hope to attain such greatness at anything in life.Aside from all the incredibly reckless eating I did the past two weeks, I also got a chance to travel down south of Taipei to a place called Hualien. A cool little touristy town surrounded by incredible majestic mountains. The night market there was expansive and had some really cool music(not to mention of course a shit ton of cheap awesome food).The highlight of the trip though was undoubtedly  Taroko National Park. This may be my favorite place on the planet I've ever been, aside from my generous donation of blood to the local mosquito population. It was so peaceful, from the ancient ground we walked on up to the sun drenched tree tops. I was lucky enough to visit a couple Buddhist temples in the mountains that made you feel a profound sense of peace even walking through them. I was so envious of the stillness here and I hope to find a way to replicate it in some sort of way in my daily life.

All in all it was an incredibly eye opening trip and honestly I can't wait to explore more of Asia. Great food, extremely kind people and plenty of nature porn, what more could you ask for really? I learned a lot really, mainly to live more in the moment which is a notion I'm constantly trying to adopt and to also take my headphones off every once in awhile and just be kind to other people. Im always so cold, cut off and distant here, which means I am part of the problem.I hope to travel  and learn more and contribute to the places I find myself. I miraculously fell asleep in the plane on the trip home, until I was awakened by a warm beam of sun shooting through the window. Instead feeling trapped by going back to the grind of the city I felt a sense of freedom. As the sweet voice of Doris Day serves as the soundtrack for my vindication, I smile at the sun and slip back into a slumber to dream of all the more places i'll soon go to tap into the wisdom that travel provides.

It's been awhile, I'm writing a full length album that few people will hear because I am abysmal at promoting my music. Lately I've been so unattached to social media and blogs and blah blah blah. It used to bother me so much when my songs had low play counts and there was no excitement behind my songs but honestly I've just stopped caring. I love the music I'm making and I will continue making it regardless of who listens to it. I'm excited about the new stuff I'm writing, when you stop caring about the outcome of what you are doing or what people are going to think of it you find this beautiful appreciation for what you are doing. You can actually appreciate the moment and really be inside of what you are creating. I have internet again which has been a life saver. I'm not saying I'm completely giving up on promoting my music, I'm just not going to be so affected by the outcome. I'll do the best I can, outside of that it's beyond my control.

I'm training for the Los Angeles Marathon next month primarily because I want to battle myself. I want to remember I can do anything I put my mind to and remind myself of what I'm made of.I'm releasing a music video for Beyond the Plains and shortly after i'll have hard copies of the EP. I've been still endlessly banging my head against the wall when it comes to performing live. If i run into one more flakey spineless guitar player I'm going to lose my mind. I mean how hard is it, if you dig the music we go in a room practice then I book shows.

Many people here in LA don't actually care about art they care about what they can get out of it. It shouldn't ever be looked at like that. Music is like fight club, it's a reason to be better, to wake up earlier, to strive  further and further. You should be asking how can you enhance the art, not oh man this can get be laid and get me money. If I run into one more girl with a hula hoop who's like " I want to go see this dj festival and do mushrooms" I'm also going to lose my shit.Musicians are carpenters with tools, DJ's are children with glue. That has no bearing on what I've been talking about but I thought that was clever so you're welcome. Somedays I look around and I think "Fuck this place" other days I look around and think "there is a dope little existence somewhere in this city for me " only time will tell. I will say though I have had the feeling more and more every month that I just don't fit in here. The people who make it here are personable and go out and get drunk with "cool music scene people" and stuff until they become your friends and help you out(and kiss tons of asses) I've fought it my whole life but I'm an introvert and I'm just too prideful, it just is what it is.  I'll be posting more often I apologize about the long silence.

Lately I've been feeling dead in the water, so much hope,so much fire and nothing to really do with it. Sitting in front of my computer for hours and hours working trying to capture an elusive goal that is always just beyond the horizon. I've still not found work, my bank account is dwindling very fast because publicists are not cheap.  There really is no logical equation in which i am able to make a living off of music and although I know this, for some reason I still have hope. Human beings are strange creatures, even when we logically know something is impossible still we continue to strive for it. It's truly a beautiful yet punishing quality. While in my apartment during a coffee induced thought journey, I had an idea. I have plan a showcase, it seems to be my only logical option. I have a good publicist that can get coverage on the show I just have to give him something to talk about. I have a new music video, a new EP, plenty of content, now I just need an event to bring these things to light.

I can't believe how defeated I've been lately, it's very unlike me. It's hard though when you work on a project for a year then the blogs you submit it to shit on you then go post the new weekend song again. I've forgotten the golden rule, you should always make art for yourself and if other people dig it cool but if not at least you are still happy with it. Anyways, it's nice to have some sort of a plan that I can focus all my craziness towards. Firstly I have to build the band, I am having my first full band practice this week, so that is thankfully moving in the right direction. Then I have to find a vessel for this shot in the dark showcase, I'm thinking somewhere small so it's an easy room to fill. Then lastly my most hated part of being a musician and the hardest part of being a musician which is of course promotion. Turn yourself into a brand, market yourself into something other people want to be a part of, it's a strange thing to try to do.  Online promotion has just been an impossible trek for me, I'd much rather just go out and play a show and actually interact with people.

​The main thing here is no matter how hopeless or illogical your goal may be, it is in the human nature to not give up.When I first had these thoughts I felt as if I was ignoring reality but after some pondering I realized I repudiate it. My reality is forged by my hands not those of fate. Hope is our greatest strength, logic is annoying by product of consciousness and I will not let it destroy my dreams or dictate my happiness. Fight logic, ignore the darkness, push on through the hopelessness, when all is lost yearn for more and let the echoes of Dylan Thomas fill your soul, rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I would first like to apologize for not writing for awhile, I've been laying low trying to figure things out. It's time to start releasing my new material, I submitted my first single "Disappear" to some blogs and they weren't feeling it.That isn't exactly a surprise and I knew it was a long shot. Of course it's never fun to hear someone tell you they don't like your music especially someone who could really help you but you have to stand by your work no matter what. It's been almost exactly a year since I've gotten to LA, it's been the hardest year of my life and seems to continue getting harder everyday. It's almost every other day I want to run away from this place and the impossible life of a musician but it's just not an option for me. If i leave and accept an easier life my mind would eat me alive. So where does that leave me? I just have to find a way to keep getting better, it's really my only option.Finding musicians in LA has become a very daunting task and I just can't seem to get excitement around my project. So the question is what do you do when blogs and record labels don't want to help you? You have to reach the people directly and figure out a way to promote your own music. This is no simple task, it's going to take lots of money and time and even then could yield no results. Years of trial and error but if you believe in yourself then it's the only thing you can do. Nonetheless I believe in Disappear, it's weird and imperfect but i do feel it's an interesting sound to explore. I'll be blogging more regularly, i apologize for the lameness of this first post but  I need to get back in the swing of writing and continue making new music. I'll be releasing Disappear this Friday, wish me luck.

My two most hated words in all of the English language when used in conjunction. To me that says " I don't want any part of your life or to help you in your endeavor whatsoever but good luck!" It's a total cop out disguised as a nice thing to say. Every time someone says it to me it puts a bad taste in my mouth and I instantly like that person much much less. The waiting game sucks, right now I'm waiting on the album to be mixed and the music video to be edited. I'm thinking too much and my train of thought has become rather negative, even meditating has become difficult this month. I've become too money minded recently, too caught up in the machine and it's depressing me. I've still been decently productive on the creative end which always makes me happy. Recording myself here at my place excites me, to be able to have everything exactly the way I want it with no pressure, not to mention the money I'm saving.

I've been working too much and it's been making me feel so empty but to remedy that I've been donating to the Free Tibet foundation. Donating to such a righteous cause makes me feel like I'm helping make a change instead saying"welp good luck guys!".At what point can we change luck? Instead of saying good luck maybe spread the word about a cause or actually do something to help whoever you are wishing good luck to. I hate the feeling that We are powerless pawns of luck, feathers in the wind hoping for the best. Maybe I'm naive but to me it's an ideal worth believing and fighting tooth and nail for.

I refuse to believe that and I refuse to let the future of things that I care about be determined by luck. I want no part of fair-weather spectators who throw two meaningless words at you to pretend they care. To those of you reading this think long and hard before you use these words and instead think of how you can help change luck. On a lighter note next month starts the promotion of Beyond the Plains i'll be giving updates as they are available as well as plans for my EP release show!

(First let me start by saying my best wishes go out to those affected by the fires and i do not mean to detract from the serious damages done by it.)In the midst of forest fires and a blood red sun, I managed to conduct a music video shoot. The smoke billowed into the air and gave the sky the most interesting reddish orange hue. We climbed up a staircase to give us a great vantage point and while up there it really gave me a chance to take in the city. I've been so focused and keeping my head down and working that I haven't gotten a chance to just look around much lately I definitely needed that. I'm really excited to see the footage all edited together. Later that night I went home and two blocks down caution tape was blocking off a street and a man was lying motionless. Helicopters circled for hours and hours, spotlights pierced through windows. I'm still not sure of the full story but my first thought was man I have to get out of this neighborhood.
Then later as I was doing my prison workout( because I don't walk to the gym at night for safety reasons) and I thought to myself maybe this is exactly where I need to be. It's hard, it hurts and it's lonely but I'm really improving my all aspects. Vocals are all recorded for my new songs and I've been pulling all nighters editing them, I'm excited and overwhelmed.
I'm starting to get that hopeful feeling I get when releasing a new project. Although in reality it will probably fade into the void, it's so exciting because there's no limit to its potential. Who knows maybe it will change everything for me. I need to get better about social media and stuff but I would much rather just write here instead of posting selfies and stupid shit like that. Unfortunately as a musician your social media numbers are your blood line and mine are terrible. Also I'm going to be blogging again hard and I do appreciate all of you who read this and help it spread. I'm so excited to start playing live again and I have been planning shows and possibly a tour again, the "Beyond the Plains" campaign starts now!

,Yet another atrocity against humanity. Firstly, I would like to pay my respects to the victims of the Orlando shootings and my thoughts are with everyone who has been affected. Which I know isn't much but in times like these it helps to vocalize that feeling and let the victims families and loved ones know that we all are with them. Let me begin by saying that there is absolutely no practical reason I can think of for a civilian to own an assault weapon. I understand people want to keep their rights intact and protect themselves but to me there has to be a reasonable compromise where we look past ourselves and compromise for the safety of people as a whole. Simple compromises that can help save lives such as more in depth background checks, regulation of magazine size, limits on amount of ammunition that can be bought, etc. The gunman appeared on the terror watch list at one point in time, the fact that he was allowed to buy the guns in the first place baffles me. Florida's gun laws are a joke, but they are still more restrictive than some other states. We have to find a way to regulate firearms and instead of this topic dividing us we have to remember we are united together against hatred. The difference between altruism and hatred is simply  a state of mind. When I think of isis ( which I refuse to capitalize) this is truly a mental battle against men who have allowed hatred to blind them from the truth. They hide behind religion but these men are the furthest thing from being Muslims. The members have been brainwashed by their leaders into thinking that taking the life of another human is truly what god would want. All religion has the same aim, to love your fellow humans regardless of who they are and devote your life for the good of others.

I live by a Buddhist philosophy but I am a student of all religions. Whether it be the discipline, the poetry in their doctrine or their contributions to humanity, all religions have merit and when practiced correctly I believe they can help build a peaceful planet. How do we reach an enemy in which bullets and bombs cannot find? To me it lies in reaching their minds changing how they view things. Just as isis tricks people to commit acts of terror by propaganda on the internet, we can do the inverse and inspire them to view us all as one human community. By vocalizing our pain, we can show them how these acts truly effect us. I know that I'm being a bit too naïve with this situation but just think if someone planning a terrorist plot stumbled upon this post and changed their outlook, I could save lives. Expose the truth behind the lies they have been told and cultivate love where there would be hate. To me this can be done by all of us coming out of the woodwork and speaking to these dangerous and misguided minds via the internet. Whether it be twitter or websites or whatever means isis may use this seems to be our only way of truly reaching them. Many who are committing these acts are young and impressionable minds who want to be part of a cause that they don't understand but this also means they can still be swayed to see the truth. To me I look back at Martin Luther King who got so much accomplished with the civil rights movement by using his words and instead of physically going after those who wished harm against him, he aimed to instead give them a view into what it was like to be oppressed to change their way of thinking. Although the life of MLK was one day taken, his voice brought more change than any bomb or bullet ever could. His death made his words even more true and once again showed how destructive a hateful mind can be.  The mind controls the body, so the minds of isis members is where the battle is fought. There must be someway to reach these minds and actually show them the repercussions of what they are doing and snap the brainwashing.  I also believe there needs to be a positive central leader within the Islamic community who can stand unafraid of isis and show them what it truly means to be Muslim. Who could also draw the line and show the world that the members of isis are NOT Muslims because there are still people who don't understand this.

Many have told me these people are too far gone and have lost their humanity. I believe all humans deep down are good and want a peaceful happy planet but the mind is also a dangerous tool when misguided. Maybe I'm wrong and it could be an exercise in futility but I cannot just sit back and watch these things on the news. The internet has given all of us a voice and collectively that voice is a powerful one. So everyone reading this take to social media be heard and together we can cure the mental disease of hatred or at least do our part to try to help. We must give an insight to those who wish harm against us, show them we are just like them regardless of location, religion or skin color. I will not give into my anger and hatred for that is exactly what isis is baiting us into. I see so much hate speech against Muslims and middle eastern people as a whole which once again is exactly what they want. They want hatred, chaos and our minds to be as poisoned and misguided as their own. The battle against hatred, bigotry and terrorism is fought in hearts and in minds. Going forward we must set the example as tolerant, peaceful, strong minded people and set the tone for the future. No matter what is done to us we will not stoop to the level of hatred and violence. One of the greatest strengths of humanity is communication, especially in the modern world. Silence will be our undoing, you matter, your voice matters, use it to help paint a positive future.